CRAIG CONLEY (Prof. Oddfellow) is recognized by Encarta as “America’s most creative and diligent scholar of letters, words and punctuation.” He has been called a “language fanatic” by Page Six gossip columnist Cindy Adams, and a “cult hero” by Publisher’s Weekly. An eccentric scholar, Conley’s ideas are often decades ahead of their time. He invented the concept of the “virtual pet” in 1980, fifteen years before the debut of the popular “Tamagotchi” in Japan. His virtual pet, actually a rare flower, still thrives and has reached an incomprehensible size. Conley’s website is OneLetterWords.com.

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Puzzles and Games: Which is Funnier

September 5, 2010 (permalink)

What’s funnier than death?

Clue:  This is according to a novel entitled A Stranger in My Grave

Answer:  Nothing.  “There's nothing funnier than death, really, especially if you have an advanced sense of humor.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Margaret Millar, A Stranger in My Grave (1960), p. 11
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August 31, 2010 (permalink)

Which word is funnier: smudge or spot?

Clue:  This is according to the book Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain

Answer:  Smudge, as it is “funny sounding.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Christopher Hart, Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain (1998), p. 107
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August 26, 2010 (permalink)

Which word is funnier: food or snack?

Clue:  This is according to the book Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain

Answer:  Snack, as it is "zippy sounding”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Christopher Hart, Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain (1998), p. 107

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BillZeBebub writes:

I always get these right. I mean every time. So there has to be an objective truth thing here. Even though logic tells me it "shouldn't work." But maybe it's the Dioscuri Effect thingie I have with you. I read a couple of your Hindpsych tarots from a while back and loved them. But I was believing it totally. Like unironically. Magical thinking makes a beeline to my "credibility neurons."
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August 21, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: pipes, cigars, or cigarettes?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Cigarettes.  “Draw them with smoke swirling up from the tip, and guffaws are guaranteed.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)
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August 17, 2010 (permalink)

What is funnier than the whole world?

Clue: This is according to English novelist John Strange Winter (pseudonym of Henrietta Eliza Vaughan Stannard)

Answer: "The whole world is funny, but that part of it that calls itself dramatic is funnier than all the rest put together!" (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)

Citation: John Strange Winter, Heart and Sword, 1898, p. 99
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August 16, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: a crooked line or a straight line?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  A crooked line.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)
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August 11, 2010 (permalink)

Which number is funnier: 16 or 18?

Clue:  This is according to the play Mr. 80% by James Sherman

Answer:  16  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  James Sherman, Mr. 80% (1987), p. 14
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August 6, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: covertibles or hard-top cars?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Hard-top cars.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)
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August 3, 2010 (permalink)

What is funnier than sex running wild?

Clue: This is according to Nelson Algren

Answer: "After all, nothing is funnier than sex running wild." (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)

Citation: Nelson Algren, Entrapment and Other Writings (2009), p. 302
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August 1, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: furniture or a small kitchen appliance?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  A small kitchen appliance.  The funniest small kitchen appliance is a toaster, followed by a blender.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)
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July 27, 2010 (permalink)

Which are funnier: monkeys or husbands?

Clue:  This is according to a lawyer

Answer:  Husbands  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Ralph Bushnell Potts, Come Now the Lawyers (1972), p. 174
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July 22, 2010 (permalink)

True of False: Hash is funnier than croquette.

Clue:  This is according to the book The Sense of Humor.

Answer:  True.  “Hash is immensely humorous, but a croquette is not.  Yet, what is a croquette but hash that has come to a head?”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Max Eastman, The Sense of Humor (1921), p. 150.
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July 17, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: comic actor W.C. Fields or the idea of W.C. Fields?

Clue:  This is according to journalist Wilfrid Sheed.

Answer:  the idea.  “I have always felt that the idea of Fields is funnier than Fields himself; that even the face and voice he has taught us to remember are not quite the real Fields.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Wilfrid Sheed, The Good Word and Other Words (1978), p. 191.
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July 12, 2010 (permalink)

“What kind of fish sings an opera?”  Which punch line is funnier: “halibut,” “mackeral,” or the real answer.

Clue:  This is from Neil Simon’s Broadway Bound

Answer:  Halibut.  “I guarantee you that a halibut is funnier than the real answer.  I mean, look at him.  Sitting there with a hat on.  If he put it on to be funny, it would be dumb.  But he doesn’t know he’s got it on, so it’s hysterical.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Neil Simon, Broadway Bound (1987), p. 10.
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July 7, 2010 (permalink)

True or False: Arkansas is funnier than New York

Clue:  This is according to a book about Arkansas.

Answer:  False.  “I certainly don’t see anything about Arkansas that is funnier than New York or Iowa or Indiana, and nothing even approaching Southern California.”  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Clyde Brion Davis, The Arkansas (1940), p. 299.
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July 5, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: the number 042 or the number 359?

Clue: This is according to Douglas Adams.

Answer: The number 359. "Incidentally, Douglas' aside that 359 is the funniest three-digit number turns out to be an example of his fixation with telephone numbers, which crop up frequently in the Hitchkhiker's Guide saga: 359 was the dialling code for his home in Islington.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)

Citation: M.J. Simpson, Hitchhiker: A Biography of Douglas Adams (2003), p. xix.
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July 4, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: a cluck or a quack?

Clue: This is according to cartoonist Matthew Diffee

Answer: A quack. Diffee also notes that "waddle" sounds as silly as it looks. (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)

Citation: Mark Caro, The Foie Gras Wars (2009), p. 164
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July 2, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: really big or really small?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  Really big.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)
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June 27, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: Irish coffee or brandy?

Clue:  This is according to literary humorist Jonathan Caws-Elwitt.

Answer:  Irish coffee.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Personal correspondence, Oct. 15, 2007.
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June 22, 2010 (permalink)

Which is funnier: a dotted line or a solid line?

Clue:  This is according to a guide to drawing comics

Answer:  A dotted line.  (The answer is in black text on the black background.  Highlight it to view.)

Citation:  Suck School of Comic Art, Suck.com, (Nov. 7, 1997)
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