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| The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine |
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~ Mysterious Beards ~ 
Portrait of Phileas Fogg from Around the World in Eighty Days.
“His eyebrows, his beard, faded into a smoke, into nothing at all.” —Louis Golding, Magnolia Street
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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 Which word is funnier: smudge or spot?
Clue: This is according to the book Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain
Answer: Smudge, as it is “funny sounding.” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Christopher Hart, Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain (1998), p. 107
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"So difficult, isn't it, to draw hard-and-fast lines between what one rationally believes, and what one trusts is true, and what seems to admit of more than one explanation." — E. F. Benson, Trouble For Lucia
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INSTRUCTIONS: Click on the puzzle image below to reveal one possible solution.
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Omegaword suggests using amperbangs in the names of law firms as a testament that two heads are bigger than one.
We celebrate Omegaword's invention of the amperbang and now realize we've seen amperbang facial expressions, as when someone nods enthusiastically, eyebrows raised, to prod us to reveal a seemingly inevitable and yet elusive punch line. --- Jeff writes: Ha! I know the facial expression well, having experienced that "amperbang moment" once or twice (i.e. too many times) myself.
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 Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . THE FIRST MEN IN THE MOON by Herbert George Wells As I sit down to write here amidst the shadows of vine-leaves under the blue sky of southern Italy, it comes to me with a certain quality of astonishment that suddenly, a shot rang out.
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| Puzzles and Games :: Letter Grids |
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This puzzle grid contains several big words. Can you find them?
• 7-letter words: 11
• 8-letter words: 4
• 9-letter words: 1
All letters in the word must touch (in any direction), and no square may be reused.
Click to display solutions
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| 7-letter words: |
• dummies
• kaliums
• kalmias
• limiest
• limulus
• mussily |
• slimily
• stimuli
• summits
• tummies
• umlauts |
| 8-letter words: |
• slimiest
• stimulus |
• sweatily
• swimmily |
| 9-letter words: |
| • slummiest |
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William Keckler quips: It was revealed that there is no such language as Gaelic.
People were just making "funny noises with their mouth."
Apparently, it's just a slightly more clever form of Pig Latin.
* * *
The Welsh language was diagnosed with a genetic condition which explained its odd situations with regard to vowels.
Gene therapy was initiated, and in a few short months, Welsh was a "normal, healthy language."
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“The bottom of your boat must be protected by paint.” —Morton J. Schultz
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| Puzzles and Games :: Which is Funnier |
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Which word is funnier: food or snack?
Clue: This is according to the book Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain
Answer: Snack, as it is “zippy sounding” (The answer is in black text on the black background. Highlight it to view.)
Citation: Christopher Hart, Drawing on the Funny Side of the Brain (1998), p. 107
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A blank map from James Whale's classic film The Old Dark House:
A flooded road in Wales; a map with running ink .
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Is it true, as Momus
suggests, that there are "few tales which would not be improved by the
addition of the phrase 'suddenly, a shot rang out'"? Decide for
yourself as we alter the opening lines of . . . THROUGH THE LOOKING-GLASS by Lewis Carroll One thing was certain, that the WHITE kitten had had nothing to do with it:—it was the black kitten's fault entirely. For the white kitten had been having its face washed by the old cat for the last quarter of an hour (and bearing it pretty well, considering); so you see that it COULDN'T have had any hand in the mischief. Suddenly, a shot rang out.
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WANING GIBBOUSThe semicolon appears to be more than one-half but not fully illuminated by the reading lamp. The fraction of the semicolon's dot that is illuminated is decreasing, like the small villages in the English countryside. This semicolon appears before the Last Quarter Semicolon and before the Full Semicolon. The amount of the semicolon that we can see will grow smaller and smaller every day, like a ball of string.
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 A Can of Yams or a Can of Sweet Potatoes?How well do you know your tubers? In each sentence, guess whether the can of ___ contains yams or sweet potatoes.1. "Her eyes stopped at the single can of ___. That one insignificant can, Katie knew, was her downfall." — Donna Nelson, Encore, 2004, p. 173 2. "One itsy-bitsy can of ___ won't do it, will it, Sammy boy?" — Jamie L. Turner, By the Light of a Thousand Stars, 1999. p. 179 3. "They can take a chance on a can of ___ and enjoy a surprise." — Thomas Swann Harding, The Popular Practice of Fraud, 1935, p. 313 4. "Cash gain in April is linked to an incident involving a can of ___ and a finger." —Horoscope, The Weekly World News, March 15, 2004 5. "Destiny lies in a can of ___ in syrup." —Horoscope, The Weekly World News, Nov. 15, 2004 6. "People like that, they got to deserve a can of ___ up the ass." — Joe R. Lansdale, A Fist Full of Stories, 1996, p. 133 Answers: 1. sweet potatoes, 2. sweet potatoes, 3. sweet potatoes, 4. yams, 5. yams, 6. yams. (The answers are in black text on the black background. Highlight to view.)
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| The Ghost in the [Scanning] Machine |
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~ Mysterious Beards ~ 
Portrait from Daniel Pratt’s biography.
“Complete with owl eyes and spectral beard.” —Osbert Sitwell, qtd. in Bartlett’s Book of Anecdotes
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From our Magic Words outpost: When Andrew Lovatt kindly
praised us for "bringing the excitement and the hunt and mystery back
into lexicogaphy," we realized that he had identified the patron saint
of our magical dictionary: Artemis, the Roman goddess of the hunt. Thanks, Andrew! |
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Original Content Copyright © 2026 by Craig Conley. All rights reserved.
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